Za's Stair - In the Early Days of the Internet Lyrics

In the early days of the internet
We were feckheads marching to our own tune
Then the companies pushed in, like fattened balloons
Ads popping left and right, and ad blockers
Yet to be invented

In the early days of vlogging
We had Stickam and Live Video
Where crazy people could do their thing
And find an audience
Now it's regulated and interconnected
Like a hospital machine

What's a chat room with no video
What's an IRC? What's WebTV
What's 56k? Is that a picture resolution

Now feelings get hurt, and that's a crime
Now someone's GoFundMe for a dog
Gets almost as many donations as
A GoFundMe for a slain cop
And that really sucks

Are you ugly? You're beautiful. Poof
You have a fat ass? You're on a journey
Have you got a cat that looks like its head
was stuck in a trash compactor
Prepare to make millions

Ad revenue! Sound bytes! Corporate sponsors
Subscribe to watch TV! From VCR to VR
Just drop the C