XOTHISGIRLISACURSE - Bonus Track: BEACH(ED) RAY Lyrics

I wanna fucking die, I don't know why
I get so sad and I just want to cry
But crying gives me headaches
So I'll just get really high
And forget about my problems for at least a little while

Didn't mean to be an addict
Just picked up some bad habits
I hate to feel hungover, but I don't wanna be sober
Alcoholic by thirteen, never gonna get me clean
Gonna take out all my anger and say things that I don't mean, like

I'm gonna feel this way forever
Don't tell me life gets better
It's not just a phase, I don't want to feel okay
Yeah, trauma makes it hard to live
So somethin' here has got to give
Somethin' here has got to give
Oh, somethin' here has got to give

'Cause I would rather die
Than be a stereotype
So I'll just lie and say I don't feel unstable
To avoid another label

What's the point in getting high when I still just want to die?
What's the point in getting drunk when I wake up more fucked up?
Yeah throwin' up and feeling down, I wanna turn my life around
Don't know if I'll see twenty-nine but I promise it will all be fine

Didn't mean to be a stoner, wish I could do it over
The warnings that I can't ignore
The signs that I'd become a-
Cigarette smoke on my breath
Watch me while I flirt with death
And carve until there's nothing left
And carve until there's nothing left
And carve until there's nothing left

Okay now, don't be so dramatic
Just succumb into the static
Never gonna kick the habit
Never be more than an addict
Alcoholic at sixteen, never gonna get me clean
Gonna take out all my anger and say things that I don't mean, like

I'll love you forever and I'm feeling so much better
As I pour myself a drink, so that I don't have to think
Yeah watch the blood drain down the sink
It's gonna push me to the brink
It's gonna push me to the brink
It's gonna push me to the brink

'Cause I would rather die
Than be a stereotype
So I'll just lie and say I don't feel unstable
To avoid another label

Yeah, wake up 5PM and I'm alone again
Reaching for the empty bottles on the night stand
Be honest with me baby, do you think that I am crazy?
'Cause I know, you know I'm full of shit sayin' that I'm gonna quit

I know it might seem a little psycho, but I'm feelin' suicidal
And I plan to join the club, like all my fuckin' idols
Alcoholic by nineteen, never gonna get me clean
Gonna take out all my anger and say things that I don't mean, like

Fuck a higher power
Turn the music up a bit louder
I'm gonna melt my brain till it makes me go insane
Yeah drinking numbs the pain, so let's start this up again

Relapse
Rinse
Repeat

And I will see you all at rehab in a week, good luck.