Uncle Jim - Where's the Turkey Lyrics

You gonna get us a good turkey? Yes Dear.
You got your slingshot? Yes Dear.
You got your turbo-blaster water gun? Yes Dear.
Did you remember your vintage bottle rocket collection? Yes Dear.
Well good luck cause we need a turkey this year. Yes Dear.

Where's the Turkey?
Where's the Turkey?
Where's the Turkey?
We need turkey 'cause it's yummy in our tummy today!

Well I loaded up my F150 and drove out to the country on a mission.
Camouflaged, heavily armed trust me bud I ain't goin' fishin'
I took my cigarettes (Politically incorrect)
Uh my chewing gum, (Bad for your teeth)
Make that beef jerky (Carcinogens)
I took my Glaciel bottled water (I support you in that decision)
Found me a spot and set my mind on the feast
I felt a tap on my shoulder, turned around
And that's when I saw the beast

Where's the Turkey?
Where's the Turkey?
Where's the Turkey?
We need turkey 'cause it's yummy in our tummy today!

Are you looking for me? Well I...
May I have one last call, because I am sick and tired of you hunters
Messing with my groove. Huh?
Your cell phone, we don't carry them you know. What?
Woe little buddy, what ya doin' there, callin' Guam?

Hello and welcome to WAMMO Radio, that's W-A-M-M-O
With your host Jerry McGerry.
Today's topic is turkey basting.
Let¹s take our first caller Harold, from an undisclosed location.
Hello Harold, what's on your mind?
May I make a suggestion as an alternative to turkey?
What do you got there buddy?
Tofu!
The key word here at WAMMO is flavor
As in good, not as in flavorless.
What about ham? That would be for our Easter show. We need to move on
Here...
Gefelta Fish? Gefelta Fish? Treasures of Eastern Europe is tomorrow's topic.
Next caller please...

Where's the Turkey?
Where's the Turkey?
Where's the Turkey?
We need turkey 'cause it's yummy in our tummy today!

Some things in life are... well they're mighty hard to explain
But it happened to me that day, well go ahead, call me featherbrain
I got to sippin' that glacial bottled water
And started feeling at peace with all living things
Loaded up my slingshot, my turbo-blaster watergun, well I left those vintage
Bottle rockets, they were moldy anyway, got back in the truck.
Drove by the natural food mart and turned out we were in luck,

Is that you dear, did you get a nice turkey?
Yes I did, meet our new pet.
Hello misses Farthington, my name is Harold and
There was a sale on Tofu at the health market.
Tofu?

Where's the Turkey?
Where's the Turkey?
Where's the Turkey?
We need turkey 'cause it's yummy in our tummy today!