Todd Snider - Is This Thing Working? Lyrics

Is this thing working? Is this thing on?

In the hallway of a high school, anywhere USA
There was a bully that would pick on a different kid,
and it seemed like every day
He had this pack of back slapping buddies,
that would laugh and back him up all the way
And this screaming girlfriend who would make believe in everything he'd say

Is this thing working? Is this thing on?

Because then one day this kid, that he'd beat up a couple time before
Realized, to even his own surprise, that he probably could indeed take more
And with that he hatched an evil plan to make that devil pay
He walked up to him, in the middle of the gym,
and he found the nerve to say
"you gonna hit somebody, today? You gonna hit me too.
In fact, you're gonna hit me every day, because now I'm picking on you"
And as crazy as it all might sound right now,
I'm not stopping until I'm through
It's too late to beg for mercy

Is this thing working? Is this thing on?

Because that bully he just laughed and laughed,
of course, and so did all of his friends
And he beat that poor kid unmercifully, for days and days on end
Only….slight less impressively each time,
to that pretty girl, and all of his friends
Who would eventually, secretly, start hoping for that kid to win

So, it this thing working? Is this thing on?

You know, you'll never hear him say this now,
because he thinks we still don't know
But winning this battle every day cost our bully the war a long time ago
And of all the scars he's got to show, for every blow that kid sneaks in
The worst one is probably knowing that tomorrow he's
going to have to get up
And fight that kid again

Is this thing working? Is this thing on?