Tim Heidecker - Ballad of ICE Agent Ray Lyrics

Down along the southern border
Rides Agent Ray
Been working for ICE for ten years
He hasn't missed a day
He's got a big old Thermos filled with coffee
Or Mountain Dew if it's the afternoon
And binoculars too

Over yonder on the golden horizon
Head and shoulders appear
It's a family of four with women and children
Startin' to get near
He flashes his badge
Pulls his gun
Yells, "Get down on the ground, everyone
You're coming with me
You're coming with me"

Ray loads them into his paddy wagon
And he slams the door
The kids start rollin' and a-tumblin'
Their head hits the floor
Up in the cab, Ray calls it in
Just another Monday afternoon
What you gonna do?

Back in town at the detention center
Ray checks 'em in
Fingerprints them, stamps and collect 'em
He gets their next of kin
The kids go this way, the mamas go that
The kids go this way, the mamas go that
The kids go this way, the mamas go that
What you gonna do?
What you gonna do?

Back at home after a long day of workin'
Ray settles down
Pops a beer, sits in his chair
He takes a look around
Well, all he wants to do
Is sit back and watch cartoons
Wouldn't you?
Wouldn't you?
Wouldn't you?