The Lonely Island - The Old Saloon Lyrics

(No I'm being serious)
Yo, Its the Wild Wild West
You came to the right place my man
Get Ready, here we go
(New Shit!)

Welcome my Friends to the old saloon
Everyone in town is hangin' out
If you gotta drink, well you drink it down
Then we'll all go have sex with whores
(Brand New!)

I'm Old Bill I just rode into town
On my horse?
You betcha on my horse!
That the thing in the Old West Times
Everybody enjoys a good horse ride

If you cheat at cards you'll get thrown out
Right out the Saloon doors on your butt
Come back in and buy a round of whiskey
Guess what? All is forgiven!

Blibbity Jane and your another guy that's probably an Indian
This whiskeys warm and smells like piss
Oh no my stache smells like piss!
So that's the story see if you can do it
The Old Wild West is no place for a lady
I'm the bartender but I'm also the Mayor
So just put that Asian Hooker (DJ wha') on my lap
I'm Tiny Tim and its almost Christmas
Sure is dusty here.