The Ableist, Vanessa Chacon - Spastic or Something Lyrics

I saw a girl with palsy
Being spoon-fed by her father
While others looked on at them
I tried to eat my meal

I'd remind myself of how to chew
And the proper way to swallow
Not all of us were born in forms
We would have fucking chosen

Who am I to think that I'm cut from a flesh like hers?
Yet who are you to claim what it means to dwell in my bones?

I've never had a reason to live
One not to die is what got me by
I grew tired of being defined
So I refined my absurdity
The rest of you dismissed me as
Merely 'spastic or something'
I've never had a reason to live
One not to die is what got me by

With utensils in my hands
A chatter and an echo channeled through me
This noise, a voice, segued itself
Into thoughts of examination
I seek to avoid

I know you've been invalidated by those of the mind that no one can tell
What they neglect to actualize extends beyond their perception
Combatting your cognition and harnessing the hemiplegic nature of your being
While they pass judgement through their own lack of comprehension
But no longer can these almost solipsistic suicidal notions
Slip off your tongue and slide under your breath, in consequence

Who am I to think I'm cut from a flesh like hers?
Who are they to claim what it means to dwell in your bones?

Right then, out of the corner of my eye
I witnessed the food dripping out of her mouth, and down to her chin
While I sat there, selfishly attempting to write the words to this song, about the last heart I had to break
It came to me then, this change in tone, in the midst of a very deliberate wipe of the right corner of my own mouth
But it's what I'd be doing after lunch that struck me most
I'd be answering to a man who held the capacity to mock the walk of one of our disabled peers
And invasively prod about the exaggerated grasp of my handshake
And though I may not know my own strength, I am certain he never will
Men like that will fight to infect us with their moral vacancy
Why bother with them, when we can empower each other, and those like that girl
Who, let my spastic ass assure you, can aspire to greatness?
The people we are, are so much more than the prey they perceive us to be
And if you know me, and you want to use this song to tear my life apart - I welcome you to do it
Because the words that I write, and this microphone that I hold are all that I'll ever need to stand between me
And ending my life

I'll never need a reason to live
This one not to die is how I'll get by
We're all done with being defined
We can refine our absurdity
Let the rest of them dismiss you and
You can build yourself from nothing
You don't need a reason to live
Find one not to die and you will thrive