ShepDaddy - A Lotta Tears Lyrics

I wasn't a happy kid; I didn't enjoy it for a single bit
I shoulda known I was gifted

Because being happy was all I ever wanted, but these
Kids were filled with hatred, don't know why they hated

It was a cold fact of life and I chose to accept it
Mumma always said they would regret it, but I gotta forget it

My place was my bed, the only place for my head
Couldn't' walk in class without sweating, and time wasting

My second chance was a blessing, I got tired of floating
Then sinking in this empty ocean, I had the option

To face my fears, even in the presence of my pears
Creative gears are turning, got my wings I'm not returning

Living in silence, till mumma said I'm lacking the resilience
Why do I break with a lotta tears

Nothing ever came without my struggles, life didn't come
Without any stumbles

Depression was never easy to handle, it shows how mortal
We really are, and how much people should really care

Nobody told me it was fair, but I had no way to prepare
For all the problems with my welfare

All the names I was called, all the shame I caused.
Its like the kids thought I never actually had a heart

I lie in bed most nights with tears in my eyes, wondering
How do I destroy this book of lies that was deemed to be my life

I don't know what tomorrow brings, and I know its not
Gonna be wedding rings, crowning kings and better things

Cause my days are turning into a lotta years, I've got a lotta fears
Because I've still got a lotta tears

Have you ever felt alone, have you ever tried so hard
To escape the lies whilst your walking through the unknown

Have you felt the sadness hit you like a cyclone, have you ever
Felt stuck in your room and you just wanna feel at home

This is how I feel any day, I just wanna be okay, I just wanna
Be treated like I'm getting better everyday

But I'm living my life like a screenplay, currently sitting in an
Intermission waiting for the next scene in the play

But I get to say what I want to say, I didn't imagine a better way
To say that I'm feeling this way

I Ain't falling for the social disease, that is spread throughout the
Entirety of the human species

Fell down and went to hell but still here, my skin is burning hot
As I still shed a lotta tears