Rory, REASON - Sobering Thoughts From The Mondrian Lyrics

So, never had a handout, lately seein' the hands
Pain movin' forward, but fuck it, we still advance as
God still in the plans, took fifteen-hundred
Knows that's nothin', I'm on my rants (that's for real)
Look, I can spot a user of green straight off the glance
Chicago in the summer, no burner, we took a chance
I slid to give the city my energy and my plans
LA been too vague for me, painfully been jaded
Took a toll, put a strain on me, insane to me
A huge strain, ironic, can't see the gains on me
Feel my time comin', I need that shit here quicker
Vodka with a spritzer, networkin' to bill figures
Pour it out when they ain't lookin' pour Henny, I'm still nigga
It's ghetto on me, stain, removin' to kill my inner heart
To change the cards I'm dealt when my niggas still dealin'
I thought it'd be different, forgive my heart to kill my sickness
I thought it'd be different, follow traditions, where I end up, look
Built my foundation with glass so y'all can see it clear
Stones casted at it, but from the inner, let's keep it real
Everywhere's there should help the cell, better sink the ship
Gotta break my standards, ain't ego for us to co-exist
Put it all in the music to heal my pain
I relate to Tom Brady, lost my family to the game
I made niggas treat the story godly
Jealousy formin' from salt, but I love it more than Laurie's
Petty nigga, I brought gifts to the pity parties
It's nothin' better than lettin' 'em see you movin' largely
Soulfully ended and it rolled through the trenches with it
Great speed, nigga
This shit like gettin' a ring from the eighth seed, nigga
You hear cheers, I don't buy it, that's a hate speech, nigga
Look, I see through a grotto, I let my spirit follow
Tryna let my love lead the way
But that lead to more expectations and sorrows
It's heavy wallows, feelings swallowed
Can't tell if it's real, does this shit just make me hollow?
Can't come off that hill unless the love slowly spiral, look
Long range for change, I turned pains to gains
Love turned to strays, that path turn terrain
The doubt turned to rain, I dry that in my lane
Tom Brady, lost my family to the game
Nothin' changed, I thought it'd be different
They love me at my lowest, I thought it'd be different
Some bridges burn, summers golden
Heavy pressures on my shoulders
'Cause while I sold records, sold lyrics, sold message
Know my soul I never sold or is

Soulfully ended and it rolled through the trenches
Look, I've been scared to settle down
Part of that fear's worried about settlin'
Mistakes, wish I could white 'em out
Too proud of my melanin, ghost ride to the riches
Tenths on it for my skeletons
'Cause they been holdin' me down, got a fear about tellin' 'em (uh)
I just keep 'em in that closet, so I don't have to face 'em all
This fabric on me's like I'm tryna hide my fabrications
It's like I'm in search of your validation, it's like, shit
It's like I keep sayin', "Like," 'cause I can't commit to nothin'
Windows down while my speakers bumpin'
Hope it air out all these deep discussions
Not bein' honest with self could be your saddest sickness
Feel like I've been wearin' that mask better than Stanley Ipkiss
Look, I've been carefully inchin', but been constantly workin'
Constantly patient, constantly urgin', I'm constantly trippin'
I know my flaws and all been constantly perfect
Constantly steady, but constantly nervous
Constantly cool, calm, and collected
On the inside I know I'm constantly urkel
Runnin' circles, been livin' like gerbils
Man, fuck the love, I need a girdle, tryna hold it together
Lookin' down to see my soul slowly rippin'
Ask God to sew it together, Reason