Riverside - Before Lyrics

I've become resistant to myself
To my weaknesses and pain
I've become the one who wants to live
And just feel alive again

I've changed myself

I've become addicted to being strong
Started out my second life
And the remnants of your tears and smiles
Shift deleted from my mind

Without knowing how it hurts
I feel safe
Without knowing how it hurts
I feel safe

Is this what I really wanted?