qabriel - wit's end Lyrics

I aint really wanna move like this
You gotta believe me
Had this mindset since I turned age six
I been believing
No seeing
My faith was casting out demons
A mustard seed was the goal
I watered it with my dreaming
My ma was first one agreeing
Told her I'd bring home a milli
She said why stop at just one
Don't limit god to your speaking
He might just open up Eden
And give you taste of the reason
Your blessings raining like seasons
In amazonian jungles
But lately I just been thinking
What's keeping me from the promise
Am I a little too honest
Is my swearing a sinning
Are my words like sonnet
Are they bored of my lyrics
Or is delivery missing
I feel the mission is tainted
Because I'm focused on winning

First seek God
And let the timid spirits get delivered
Instead I let the spirits slither right into my liver
When pressure builds I turn from sipper
Into chugging liquor
Nigga I been lonely for 6 years
Fucking go figure
This aint a picture for the poster child of pity parties
I chose the fork with the river used at dinner parties
I knew the price would be steep like I'm hardly home
Sending gifts to my nieces that I've never known
My own fault
I think I fumbled the juice
I used to really shine through for the light of the Lord
My debut glass prism and a rainbow was formed
Now I've collected all these faces that I cannot ignore
Who am I when you see me
I hope I'm not just a puppet
A role player that functions
As someone who could be substituted
I covet a real love
But I feel I've been prostituted
And shoved into quick fix
A drug for the destituted
And broken
No joking I'm way to open
I pour into other people
Like rivers run into oceans
I'm hoping for refill but
Im twisted begging like Oliver
Feel like my prayers are
Soaked in the gravity of a commoner
Kneeling before a king
Feel like I'm always bothering
Bargaining my honor
With prospect me of prospering
Self doctrine is doctoring
I've been healing myself
With a praise break and some hollering
I think I've become tolerant
It's not hitting the same
Maybe I've become obstinate
Options went and left me
With a hard place and a rock in it
I went and Johnny Cochran'ed it
Still got the Juice off
While everybody was doubting it
Now I'm chasing myself with it
Mad that I'm not bigger
Bitter at other winners
Laughing at distant quitters
I differ cuz I don't shiver at giants
I'm David
With pebbles kept in my quiver
Defiant
But pressure is rising
They closing the sides in
I am not the same nigga living off Highland
Six years passed
I've been putting the time in
But I'm feeling more lost
Than a pilot
On a show
Bout plane crashes and islands
God know that I'm trying