Psychostick - Obey the Beard Lyrics

Mustache, no
Sideburns, no
Goatee, maybe
Beard, beard

Do you feel alone?
Do you feel neglected?
Not doin' too well with the ladies?
Well I got the solution for you

Low self esteem, grow a beard
Afraid to follow your dreams, grow a beard
Are you lonely and sad, grow a beard
Wanna look good in plaid, grow a beard

Are you workin' out, grow a beard
Did your car break down, grow a beard
Ice caps melting? Grow a beard
Are you stuck in the middle of nowhere and you need to make an important phone call
But the battery's dead and you can't find an outlet to plug in your charger

Grow a beard

Grow the beard
Feed the beard
Brush the beard
Manscape the beard
Stroke the beard
Love the beard
Fear the beard
Obey the beard
Obey the beard

(Obey the beard)
Behold the beard (Obey the beard)
Accept the beard (Obey the beard)
Respect the beard (Obey the beard)

Oh my God, Becky, look at his beard it's just so beard

Impress your date, with your beard
Eat a steak, with a beard
Chop down trees, with a beard
Crush your enemies, with a beard

Catch a fish, with a beard
Roundhouse kick, with a beard
Troll the net, with a beard
Chia pet? Ch-ch-ch-chia, beard

Drive a truck, with a beard
Try your luck, with a beard
Arm wrestle, with a beard
Teenage Mutant Ninja beard

Pet your doggie, with a beard
I pledge allegiance to the beard
Can't grow a beard, then buy a beard
Do you have a beard, then grow more beard

You need to shave this thing
Shut up grandma, grow a beard

Defend the beard
Drink to the beard
'Cause beards are good
And scruff

(Obey the beard)
Behold the beard (obey the beard)
Accept the beard (obey the beard)
Respect the beard (obey the beard)

I was so empty and lost inside
'Til I grew you ('til I grew me)
I put my faith in my facial hair
To get me through

Well I can defy the odds again and again
With you on my chin (you on my chin)
With every moment you grow closer and closer
To my heart

I love you beard
If you love it so much, why don't you just marry it?
Huh

Do you take this beard to be your lawfully wedded beard
For bearder or for worse, in scruffiness and in beard, 'til shave do you part
I beard

(Beard, beard, beard, beard, beard, beard, beard)

Abe Lincoln had a beard
Zz Top, epic beards
Dimebag Darrell, metal beard
Chuck Norris, kick ass beard

Number one, make it beard
Chewbacca, is a beard
Santa Claus, Jesus Christ
God has a beard

Obey the beard
Obey the beard
Obey the beard
Obey the beard