O.D.D.I.T.Y - Big Bro Lyrics

Verse1:
I can tell you don’t want me around you
it feel like you hate me cuz lately I’m drownin
in doubt it’s been weighin' on me all those ounces
turned quickly to pounds and then turned into thousands
a ton on my shoulders just tryna live up to you
man you’re the oldest I’m supposed to look up to you
why you so cold man I’m just showing love to you
you keep adding boulders to all that I’m goin through
shit is a lot…even harder cuz we ain’t got our pops
everything that we learned is from mom
every day want the pain to just stop
imitate you even mimic facials
hella simulations runnin’ all through my mind
of me emulatin’, so intimidated hyperventilating cuz you all that I got
and I’m at that age where everything could go wrong
you’re like my idol I’m there right beside you push me away then we end up just fighting
no cushion to break all my falls only guidance was lookin' at how you was movin admirin
from a distance but couldn’t get closer your arms stayed extended
just wished and stayed hopeful that I’d be commended
for somethin', there ain’t a day that goes past I don’t love you big brother

Hook:
always had yo head down
hoped to make me feel proud
I never said it til now
but I look up to you
(repeat x2)

Verse2:
I can tell that you really been focused you’re close to your goals I’m just sittin here tokin
inhaling this smoke yea this loud got me choking shit is so potent it’s helping me cope with a lot
and I know that these problems are mine and I caused them
searching to find a solution to solve em
like curtains and blinds needed something to block them
they lurking behind behind me like shadows they stalkin
surveying my options…wondering should I just go back to college
truthfully that doesn’t measure my knowledge, maybe I’ll pull out a gun and then rob em
if police come then I’m runnin no stoppin,
all that I want is a check with 2 commas
life would be good I’d be poppin them bottles but deep down inside I’m just wanting my father
think that that’s always been the issue though,
love that man so unconditional
fearful reading them obituaries shit is really scary ain’t a visual
that I can really deal with right now,
wish we were really children right now
wish that you could really hear me right now,
fuck it finna leave a message right now cuz I love you big bro

Hook:
always had yo head down
hoped to make me feel proud
I never said it til now
but I look up to you
(repeat x2)

Verse3:
I can tell you goin through a lot, lost yo car..lost yo job
gained new scars, life’s been hard, ain’t moving far, feelin stuck
I been ducked off, not concerned with anything you got goin
as yo life was goin up in flames, I was busy tryna light ignite coals then you grabbed the mic close
spit out a verse I could only decipher
shit hit a nerve and it made me think twice
never occurred all the hurt and the times I reverted to dominance just to divert from the obvious
common sense damn it my conscious I shoulda just followed it
now I’m just nauseous I’m feeling like vomitin
you’re my lil brother I should have you covered I promised our mother that shit like a covenant
…my head it just wasn’t on straight….I’m sorry for all of the pain
my heart it was guarded like wait, that’s just an excuse I could say
..instead I’ll admit I was wrong, and finally do what big brothers do
impacted the way that you grew up but deep I always looked up to you

Hook:
always had yo head down
hoped to make me feel proud
I never said it til now
but I look up to you