NOFX - I'm a Transvest-Lite Lyrics

I first heard Frank say
He wanted to dress like Faye Wray
I wanted that too but what could I do
In junior high school in LA?
My heart skipped in the scene
He said you gotta be it, not just dream
It was a taboo I knew I wouldn't pursue
I didn't have the self-esteem

I gotta confess that I like to cross dress
And I've been doing it since I was 13
It's hard to tell bros that you wear women's clothes
Even in the "open-minded" punk scene
You'd probably get hurt in heels and a skirt
When you're in the middle of a circle pit
So I'd only wear panties under boxers to keep it all a secret
Now I'm telling everyone 'cause it's fun and I don't give a shit

Forward 30 years
I still had the same fears
Then I saw Hedwig play at Bilgewater's gig
And I felt the same envy and tears
I decided right there
I can't be bothered to care
What other people think, I'm gonna dye my pubes pink
And throw out all my Hanes underwear

I'm not transgender, I'm a lazy crossdresser
Who thinks makeup is too much of an ordeal
I paint my toes and wear shiny tight clothes
Not for the look, but how it makes me feel
I don't need things just right, I'm a tranvest-lite
I only shave to do the Time Warp midnight Saturday
I'm done with self-pity, I don't have to feel shitty
'Cause I wanna look pretty, so I give it the old city College try
Don't get me wrong, I still wanna be a guy
Who sometimes likes to dress like a girl
(He sometimes likes to wear diamonds and pearls)
Don't think I don't know I'm not fooling anyone
(He's a cross between Adele and Charlie Chaplin)
You gotta know it's not just girls who just wanna have fun!