Michael Nuguid - Struggle Lyrics

Why am I so afraid of the things that'll develop my growth
Stare at my flaws I'm too connected to this show
Lately I've been overwhelmed and stressed about the little things
Lost inside this forest I don't know where to go
I struggle to find words there's some things I can't explain
Things I wanna say
Especially if it's nice or good but why do I hesitate
Very critical of my music and my lyrics question myself
Is it good enough when they hear this?
Such a perfectionist
Sometimes I lose track of what my purpose is
Is that selfish?
Is that selfish

Feel the trauma hit
I've fallen in a pit
Devil lyin' sayin' I'll be okay if I sin
It gets to me I'll admit
But all it does is make me more stressed
Puttin' fear in my head and remindin' me of it
Again and again
Struggle with my OCD
Blackmailin' me if I don't do this choice they told me but
If i do it it switches and does the same thing for the other one
Constant back and forth wastin' time
I've struggled with tryin' to expose it but I'm scared of what happens if I don't listen
Maybe try it for a few seconds
But I'm overwhelmed by the fear and unfortunately I tend to give in
I should be in the moment but I'm stuck inside my head
Feel the pressure cavin' in with all the weight on my chest
I struggle with self-confidence
Sometimes it can be hard to believe in myself and my craft when the depression hits
Sometimes I open up and show my vulnerability
Show em all my dark clouds but I just feel embarrassed
Sometimes negativities repeated like a screaming parrot
It's annoyin' most of the time I can barely bare it
Why do I feel so alone
How do I warm myself up when this world can be cold
I should be asleep but I'm busy on my phone
Especially when it's not helpin' my goals

Too busy thinkin' about what the world thinks instead of what I think
I just wanna do it flawless I know it might not be possible but it gets to me
Too busy thinkin' about what the world thinks instead of what I think
I just wanna do it flawless I know it might not be possible but it gets to me

I've hit a mental blockage like I can't escape these chains to the wall it's
Not pretty stress is tellin' me to not be smart and spend on what I don't need
Spend on unhealthy food to binge on outta my pocket
I didn't listen but almost did true story
I got scared when I thought about what happens and where I'll be when I'm past forty
My thoughts filled with angels and demons
Demons eyin' every angle to wash away my freedom

I've learned that same as sadness
Happiness is temporary cuz sometimes we need those sad days
To watch our flower bloom and it's not possible without the rain
The question is how do we stand up with all the pain
And how long it'll take
The second question might just be a mystery that remains
Like when Batman tries to solve a riddler case
Even still I'm tryna figure that out
Even still I'm tryna figure that out