Material - Words of Advice Lyrics

Well here are a few simple admonitions for young and old
Never interfere in a boy-and-girl fight
Beware of whores who say they don't want money
The hell they don't
What they mean is they want more money much more
If you are doing business with a religious son-of-a-bitch
Get it in writing
His word isn't worth shit
Not with the good Lord telling him how to fuck you on the deal

Words of advice for young people

If after having been exposed to someone's presence
You feel as if you've lost a quart of plasma
Avoid that presence
You need it like you need pernicious anemia
Don't like to hear the word vampire around here
Trying to improve our public image

Build up a kindly, avuncular, benevolent image
Interdependence is the key word
Enlightened interdependence
Life in all it's rich variety
Take a little, leave a little
However, by the inexorable logistics of the vampiric pyrosis
They always take more than they need
Now some of you may encounter the Devil's Bargain
If you get that far
Any old soul is worth saving
At least to a priest
But not every soul is worth buying
So you can take the offer as a compliment
They tries the easy ones first
You know like money
All the money there is
Yeah, but who wants to be the richest guy in some cemetery?
Money won't buy
Not much left to spend it on, eh gramps?
Getting too old to cut the mustard
Well time hits the hardest blows
Especially below the belt
How's a young body grab you?
Like three card monte, like pea under the shell
Now you see it, now you don't
Haven't you forgotten something, gramps?
In order to feel something
You have to be there
You have to be eighteen
And you're not eighteen
You are seventy-eight
Old fool sold his soul for a strap-on

Words of advice for young people