Last night I told ya I loved ya
Woke up, blamed it on the vodka
I genuinely thought I was dying
And I could see that smile you were hiding
Last night I told ya, "I need ya"
That's the last time I drink tequila
Super-Lemon and his sidekick Salt-Kid
I start cryin' and verbally assaulting
Last night I asked you to marry me
That's when I remembered the brandy
I wake up and claim I didn't say it
Screwed if I ever wake up in Vegas
Wish I could stop and I'm not joking
Drinking too much and socially smoking
Wish I could stop and start to behave
And then wake up in the morning and never miss a day again
Last night police had to frisk me
In the cells thanks to Bell's fine whiskey
I think I said too much like
"Do you like my bracelets?
Oh wait, they're handcuffs"
Last night I said, "I want your babies"
Forget the ice
It's not nice to drink Baileys
I drink that much that I forget
Whatever embarrassing thing I say next
You said I got on one knee, and there's no way
Unless I've been drinking, oh, wait, Rosé
Sailor Jerry's Rum
I think I drank too much
Showing randomers way too much love
Last night I called you a "loser"
I think that was after flamin' Sambuca
I shouted at you, "Do me a favor!"
And that's when I fell off the pavement
Wish I could stop and I'm not joking
Drinking too much and socially smoking
Wish I could stop and start to behave
And then wake up in the morning and never miss a day again
'Cause I'd love to learn when to shut my mouth
Wake up in the morning and be in my own house
Do one last shot and know when to stop
No more photos on Facebook of me doing the robot
Know when to leave and when to lock my front door
Stop waking up in trees and in a bed full of people
Sitting in a cupboard with my weird best friend
But I'm only young
So, I'm not gonna pretend
I wish I could stop 'cause I'm not joking
I love drinking too much and socially smoking
Don't wanna stop or learn to behave
Amen
And I, hey, just missed another day again
