John Dossett, Laurie Veldheer, Mark Aldrich, Nick Sullivan - The Bottom Line Lyrics

Gentlemen, we need to sell more papers
There's an answer right before your eyes, but you're just not thinking this through
Nunzio knows, when he's cutting my hair
Trim a bit here
And then trim a bit there
Just a modest adjustment
Can fatten the bottom line

What if we cut back personnel?

How about a few salary trims?

We could lower the price of the paper

Bankrupting me even faster
Let me try again
Shaving is tricky: The razor should float
Shave me too close
And you may slit my throat
Its the simplest solutions
That bolster the bottom line

I've got it
If we charge the Newsies sixty cents per hundred instead of fifty

They'd have to sell ten more papers just to earn the same amount as always

My thought exactly
It's genius

It's gonna be awfully rough on those children

They'll be learning a real life lesson in economics
I couldn't offer them a better education if they were my own
Give me a week and I'll train them to be
Like an army that's marching to war
Proud of themselves and so Grateful to me
They'll be begging to pay even more
When there's dirt on our shoes, boys
For God's sake, relax
Why throw them out?
All we need is some wax
Listen well to these barbershop lessons
For they'll see you through

When you're stuck in the muck you'll be fine
You'll erase any trace of decline

With a trim

And a snip

And a shine

And the power of the press
Yes, once again is mine
The price for the Newsies goes up in the morning
Just a few common cents
Gents, that's the bottom line

Every new outcome
It's income for you
Thanks to that bottom line