Fake Zappa - Salisbury Steak (Peter Gabriel Parody) Lyrics

Ordering a Salisbury steak, I can see it's pretty cheap
Compared to all the other steaks, it's a much better deal
I asked for it cooked well done, and ordered me a diet coke
But when he brought me my whole meal, I thought that it was a joke
I looked again at the menu, I double checked round the venue
My heart going boom boom boom
"Waiter," I said, "you can shove this thing, I'm on my way back home"
Looking at my Salisbury steak, I could tell it was a fake
Can you give me some free wine? Or just a lousy slice of cake!?
Can't you see this ain't a steak? Just a patty of ground beef!
Let me argue with your boss, or better yet, the big chief
He tried to explain what the term means, that everyone knows what that stuff is
My head going boom boom boom, "hey, asshole, I'm not that stupid why don't you go Home"
Even though I scream and shout, the waiter does not help me out
I am trying everything, puppy dog eyes, I tried to pout
I said, "at least bring me two buns, I can make a hamburger"
He brought me mustered, a big roll, and five packs of fancy ketchup
I took a big bite of the sandwich, fatty but above average
My cholesterol going boom boom boom
"Waiter, get a doggie bag, I'm going to eat the rest of this at home"