Fake Zappa - Bad Balls (A Cowboy's Lament) Lyrics

Stuck in the saddle with his spurs so tarnished and warn
Riding all winter cross the lone Texas prairie with britches so torn
He comes from the northern hills of Montana
On his way to the lodge in Santa Ana
Just to see his sweetheart
To plant a little corn
Springtime comes to the dry Arizona plateau
Squats down to relieve himself but not seeing the cactus below
That's just one more hurt to his gonads
That is just the life of the nomads
Generations of cowboys
From long long ago
They call him Bad Balls, Bad Balls
They've been through so much don't touch they're way too sore
They call him Bad Balls, Bad Balls
They're rough and they're tough but they just can't take any more
Hot summer sun makes crotch ripe over time
Damp evening rain makes his boys so stinky with slime
Pressed against the saddle horn so rigid
Concerned it could make him barren and frigid
Don't want to shoot blanks
While still in his prime
Fell off his horse again and on to a tree branch Aye Yai Yai
Smashed in his pants his berries longed for a dude ranch
Used to sing baritone now soprano
He's as dry as a player piano
Seedless and childless
With no tadpoles for Blanche no no

Stuck in the saddle with his spurs so tarnished and warn
Riding all winter cross the lone Texas prairie with britches so torn
He comes from the northern hills of Montana
On his way to the lodge in Santa Ana
Just to see his sweetheart
To plant a little corn
Springtime comes to the dry Arizona plateau
Squats down to relieve himself but not seeing the cactus below
That's just one more hurt to his gonads
That is just the life of the nomads
Generations of cowboys
From long long ago
They call him Bad Balls, Bad Balls
They've been through so much don't touch they're way too sore
They call him Bad Balls, Bad Balls
They're rough and they're tough but they just can't take any more
Hot summer sun makes crotch ripe over time
Damp evening rain makes his boys so stinky with slime
Pressed against the saddle horn so rigid
Concerned it could make him barren and frigid
Don't want to shoot blanks
While still in his prime
Fell off his horse again and on to a tree branch Aye Yai Yai
Smashed in his pants his berries longed for a dude ranch
Used to sing baritone now soprano
He's as dry as a player piano
Seedless and childless
With no tadpoles for Blanche no no