Eric B. & Rakim - I Ain't No Joke Lyrics

I ain't no joke, I used to let the mic smoke
Now I slam it when I'm done and make sure it's broke
When I'm gone no one gets on 'cause I won't let
Nobody press up and mess up the scene I set
I like to stand in a crowd and watch the people wonder, damn
But think about it then you'll understand
I'm just an addict addicted to music
Maybe it's a habit, I gotta use it
Even if it's jazz or the quiet storm
I hook a beat up, convert it into hip-hop form
Write a rhyme in graffiti in every show you see me in
Deep concentration 'cause I'm no comedian
Jokers are wild, if you wanna be tame
I treat you like a child then you're gonna be named
Another enemy, not even a friend of me
'Cause you'll get fried in the end when you pretend to be
Competin' 'cause I just put your mind on pause
And I can beat you when you compare my rhyme wit' yours
I wake you up and as I stare in your face you seem stunned
Remember me? The one you got your idea from?
But soon you start to suffer, the tune'll get rougher
When you start to stutter that's when you had enough of
Bitin' it'll make you choke, you can't provoke
You can't cope, you should of broke because I ain't no joke

I got a question as serious as cancer
Who can keep the average dancer?
Hyper as a heart attack, nobody smilin'
'Cause you're expressin' the rhyme that I'm stylin'
This is what we all sit down to write
You can't make it so you take it home, break it and bite
Use pieces and bits of all the hip-hop hits
Get the style down pack then it's time to switch
Put my tape on pause and add some more to yours
Then you figure you're ready for the neighborhood chores
The E-M-C-E-E, don't even try to be
When you come up to speak, don't even lie to me
You like to exaggerate, dream and imaginate
Then change the rhyme around, that can aggravate me
So when you see me come up, freeze
Or you'll be one of those seven emcees
They think that I'm a new jack but only if they knew that
They who think wrong are they who can't do that
Style that I'm doin', they might ruin
Patterns of paragraphs based on you and
Your offbeat DJ, if anything he play
Sound familiar, I'll wait 'til E say, "Play 'em"
So I'ma have to diss and broke
You could get a smack for this, I ain't no joke

I hold the microphone like a grudge
B'll hold the record so the needle don't budge
I hold a conversation cause when I invent
I nominated my DJ for president
When I emcee I'll keep a freestyle goin' steadily
So pucker up and whistle my melody
But whatever you do, don't miss one
They'll be another rough rhyme after this one
Before you know it, you're followin' and fiendin'
Waitin' for the punchline to get the meanin'
Like before the moral of my story I'm tellin'
Nobody beats the R, so stop yellin'
Save it, put it in your pocket for later
'Cause I'm movin' the crowd and B'll wreck the fader
No interruptions 'til the mic is broke
When I'm gone, then you can joke
'Cause everything is real on a serious tip
Keep playin' and I get furious quick
And I'll take you for a walk through hell
Feed your dome, then watch your eyeballs swell
Guide you out of triple-stage darkness
When it get dark again, then I'ma spark this microphone
'Cause the heat is on
You see smoke and I'm finished when the beat is gone
I'm no joke