André Gaël - Demon in my Skin Lyrics

Wish I could say I'm OK, just lie, smile and turn away
But the truth is my emotions are in total disarray
I front as a tough guy with a soft spot
Like I'm always up to par, when really, I'm not
And times have not been easy, but it doesn't fucking help
When I carry so much shit, I just wanna end myself
And I can't just put these feelings up top on a shelf
When all these recent events make my life a living hell
Feelings that I had thought I would never get back
Then a fear of failure, doubt, regret, and things that turn my vision black
Add to that the loss of my friend
Scratch that, my brother
When does the pain end?
The demon in my skin will find a way
The path to wreak havoc where it may
With no respite, and no means of escape
No, my mind is not a happy place
I'm trapped inside a prison that I made
Hand in hand with the demon in my skin
I'm just never confident, I've lived drowned in doubt
About everything I do, everything I put out
Does it have identity? Am I copying someone else?
Why does this sound so empty? It's not ringing any bells
And even if I sort that out, there's more I just can't shake
Like a fear, but this fear ain't a fear with a shape
I'm tormented by a sadness and a panic that won't go away
That make their way to my brain to remind me that I may
Try my hardest every day to be a better me
But I'll always go back to thinking I am weak
Do I seek help, or do I keep it in?
"Your problems are your own, figure it out"
Shit.
Even to this day, I still wish I would awake
And the pain would all be gone with my nightmares laid to waste
But I'm just a human, and I tend to forget
I subject myself to torture and I'm the only one to blame
The demon in my skin will find a way
The path to wreak havoc where it may
With no respite, and no means of escape
No, my mind is not a happy place
I'm trapped inside a prison that I made
Hand in hand with the demon in my skin
I really wanna change, I want to improve
But I'm so used to my status quo, what's my first move?
Then I beat myself up. I'm my own worst enemy
And I fear one day this demon will become the end of me

Wish I could say I'm OK, just lie, smile and turn away
But the truth is my emotions are in total disarray
I front as a tough guy with a soft spot
Like I'm always up to par, when really, I'm not
And times have not been easy, but it doesn't fucking help
When I carry so much shit, I just wanna end myself
And I can't just put these feelings up top on a shelf
When all these recent events make my life a living hell
Feelings that I had thought I would never get back
Then a fear of failure, doubt, regret, and things that turn my vision black
Add to that the loss of my friend
Scratch that, my brother
When does the pain end?
The demon in my skin will find a way
The path to wreak havoc where it may
With no respite, and no means of escape
No, my mind is not a happy place
I'm trapped inside a prison that I made
Hand in hand with the demon in my skin
I'm just never confident, I've lived drowned in doubt
About everything I do, everything I put out
Does it have identity? Am I copying someone else?
Why does this sound so empty? It's not ringing any bells
And even if I sort that out, there's more I just can't shake
Like a fear, but this fear ain't a fear with a shape
I'm tormented by a sadness and a panic that won't go away
That make their way to my brain to remind me that I may
Try my hardest every day to be a better me
But I'll always go back to thinking I am weak
Do I seek help, or do I keep it in?
"Your problems are your own, figure it out"
Shit.
Even to this day, I still wish I would awake
And the pain would all be gone with my nightmares laid to waste
But I'm just a human, and I tend to forget
I subject myself to torture and I'm the only one to blame
The demon in my skin will find a way
The path to wreak havoc where it may
With no respite, and no means of escape
No, my mind is not a happy place
I'm trapped inside a prison that I made
Hand in hand with the demon in my skin
I really wanna change, I want to improve
But I'm so used to my status quo, what's my first move?
Then I beat myself up. I'm my own worst enemy
And I fear one day this demon will become the end of me