Ajungi, Shauna Seeteenak - Letter to Myself Lyrics

I’m sick of writing about my people, what about me?
Sometimes I can’t even stand the sound of my heart pounding
I guess that’s how deep I get into the abyss
I can’t even show my anger when I’m pissed

Is it ‘cause I was bitched at no matter how I felt?
I can’t even get the help when I try to get help
It’s no wonder I have the nasty shit bottled inside
Never taught how to let it go so it continues

I saw my counsellor, what can he do for my pain?
If he never been thru it and he hardly know my name
He ain’t never had to go thru it so how can he understand
What intergenerational trauma is then?

If only people could step in my shoes and walk a mile
I can’t ever forget the slap marks when I was child
It’s a shitty feeling when it creeps in and deepens
It’s harder when I try to fake it and pretend

I write a letter to myself
I’m sitting here trying to let go of how I felt
I keep running and running and running away
If I hum it and hum it and hum it again
I can’t run from it, it keeps wanting to stay
Maybe if I write a letter, I’ll be okay

You ask me what’s up, and I say I’m tired
The neurones in my brain ain’t perfectly wired
I don’t know, but I know I ain’t poppin’ them pills
I need to find a way to heal myself

‘Cuz the same shit replays in my head when it wants
Over and over like a residual haunting
It’s like I’m okay and then I’m not
My spirit is caught up in a knot

Is it gonna stop? What should I do?
Because it’ll always be really nothing new
It’s like the same shit, but a different day
Need to find the right TP to wipe it away

Maybe if I write a letter to myself
Maybe it’ll bring a little bit of help
Maybe it’ll ease a little of the pain
Maybe it will make me not feel the same

I write a letter to myself
I’m sitting here trying to let go of how I felt
I keep running and running and running away
If I hum it and hum it and hum it again
I can’t run from it, it keeps wanting to stay
Maybe if I write a letter I’ll be okay