Widowmaker - Pessimist Lyrics

I am my own devil
Eternally engulfed in flames I've fabricated
My demons smother me
Now my life will never be the same
I want to end it all
Suffering doesn't scratch the surface of the pain I feel every fucking day
I always play pretend
Lost sight of reality
All I'm sure of is I'm not okay
Everyday I wake up hoping it's my last
Haunted by the ghosts that plagued me in my past
I just want to escape myself
This is not a life that I want to live
I've given all, all I have left to give
This world we exist in is nothing short of hell
I don't live, I simply exist
I want to die
So why do I resist
I hold on to my optimistic views, but the pessimist in me refuses to lose
Don't tell me I'll be alright
I know better and I've accepted it
I've already lost this fight
You've seen me fucking pathetic
A hollow shell
A living hell
A living hell
A hollow shell
A living hell
There's nothing left
Can you not tell
Watch me wither away
With no fight left to decay
I've created my own divinity
All it took was giving up my physical body
I can finally rest in peace
Now I've found my way out with my corpse in the ground
How does it feel to know that when I was in pain
You turned your head, while you knew I wasn't the same
I just laid there, on my deathbed
I just laid there on my fucking deathbed
Hoping for a change
Reaching for a hand that never came
Drowning in depression, combatted with aggression
I saw no other way
Instead of taking it out on you, I took it out on me
Do you still feel okay
Do you still feel okay
This is the guilt you'll live with every fucking day
Do you still feel okay
Do you still feel okay
Do you still feel okay
This is the guilt you'll live with every fucking day
Do you still feel okay
Do you still feel okay
Do you still feel okay
This is the guilt you'll live with every fucking day

I am my own devil
Eternally engulfed in flames I've fabricated
My demons smother me
Now my life will never be the same
I want to end it all
Suffering doesn't scratch the surface of the pain I feel every fucking day
I always play pretend
Lost sight of reality
All I'm sure of is I'm not okay
Everyday I wake up hoping it's my last
Haunted by the ghosts that plagued me in my past
I just want to escape myself
This is not a life that I want to live
I've given all, all I have left to give
This world we exist in is nothing short of hell
I don't live, I simply exist
I want to die
So why do I resist
I hold on to my optimistic views, but the pessimist in me refuses to lose
Don't tell me I'll be alright
I know better and I've accepted it
I've already lost this fight
You've seen me fucking pathetic
A hollow shell
A living hell
A living hell
A hollow shell
A living hell
There's nothing left
Can you not tell
Watch me wither away
With no fight left to decay
I've created my own divinity
All it took was giving up my physical body
I can finally rest in peace
Now I've found my way out with my corpse in the ground
How does it feel to know that when I was in pain
You turned your head, while you knew I wasn't the same
I just laid there, on my deathbed
I just laid there on my fucking deathbed
Hoping for a change
Reaching for a hand that never came
Drowning in depression, combatted with aggression
I saw no other way
Instead of taking it out on you, I took it out on me
Do you still feel okay
Do you still feel okay
This is the guilt you'll live with every fucking day
Do you still feel okay
Do you still feel okay
Do you still feel okay
This is the guilt you'll live with every fucking day
Do you still feel okay
Do you still feel okay
Do you still feel okay
This is the guilt you'll live with every fucking day