Tony Newbury, matrad - Beauty Curse Lyrics

Some days feel like I'm left out
Like there's 100 people in the room I'm the next out
Everybody talking, I think it's shit about me
Smile yet walk about my own self doubt
Who the fuck are you to tell me who I'll ever be
Dreamin is my job you complain and watch me
Started from the bottom, flipped nothing to a brick
You hate the fact I talk bout my life, suck my whole dick
Am I not good enough to hit your standard, press skip
Don't want nobody fucking with me if they talk shit
300 songs in a year and a half
100 days sober just to never look back
Shoutouts from celebrities, still I ain't famous
Moved On to Better Thingz made it on your playlist
And if I'm not you should hear the story of my life
15 years old tried to take my shit twice
Some days I wish I went thru with it and popped something just a little stronger
Now I'm drinking cheap beer and hiding on the road
Speaking from my heart until they fear the whole soul
My homies are the best but I still feel alone
Tattoos on my body but the cuts ain't deep enough
Might slit my whole wrist to feel like I'm alive no lie
Confessions confessions these are my darkest secrets
Feel like I'm losing myself as more people start believing
The plan is make a million, hit the low
Sign a life insurance policy then imma go ghost
Blow my top off, post a song to be a legend
Pay my brother and sister college, then sleep second
The life of an artist it's a permanent struggle
For a week you feel like you're about to make it, the next it ain't the same
You see there's so many others that's posing for the game
They wanna look fly, rap hard and be the same
You wanna tell the story of your life create change
Take my headphones off, wanna speak for what I am
Confession my addiction, what I turn I am the worst
What do you imagine, what could I reverse
Waste myself to habits, I call this Beauty Curse
Fuck holding back I'm falling til' I'm thrown
Drunk for 3 weeks, high for 10 days
Fucked up while I write this, I just need a chance
Waiting on my moment if I die today I fucking tried at least I own it
If I die today I felt alive while I wrote this
11 years old when I started growing distant
What it felt like, I wish I were never living
All your family losing blood like them cell counts dipping
Losing your love for everyone like god isn't living
I just wanna feel alive and live while I'm still living
More than when I'm huffing Adderall or talking shit and sipping
Why you bitching
I've played a lot of I don't play no games, ho
You'll learn a lot of ho's turn out to be your family
I sit here while I write this and feel like I finally have made amends with myself
Sipping blue ribbon and it's 8 in the morning
Story of my life, keep the mission don't abort it
Beauty is the struggle, success is happiness
I used to worship Cole but now the world is for the kids
Young T Lil bitch
Take my headphones off, wanna speak for what I am
Confession my addiction, what I turn I am the worst
What do you imagine, what could I reverse
Waste myself to habits, I call this Beauty Curse

Some days feel like I'm left out
Like there's 100 people in the room I'm the next out
Everybody talking, I think it's shit about me
Smile yet walk about my own self doubt
Who the fuck are you to tell me who I'll ever be
Dreamin is my job you complain and watch me
Started from the bottom, flipped nothing to a brick
You hate the fact I talk bout my life, suck my whole dick
Am I not good enough to hit your standard, press skip
Don't want nobody fucking with me if they talk shit
300 songs in a year and a half
100 days sober just to never look back
Shoutouts from celebrities, still I ain't famous
Moved On to Better Thingz made it on your playlist
And if I'm not you should hear the story of my life
15 years old tried to take my shit twice
Some days I wish I went thru with it and popped something just a little stronger
Now I'm drinking cheap beer and hiding on the road
Speaking from my heart until they fear the whole soul
My homies are the best but I still feel alone
Tattoos on my body but the cuts ain't deep enough
Might slit my whole wrist to feel like I'm alive no lie
Confessions confessions these are my darkest secrets
Feel like I'm losing myself as more people start believing
The plan is make a million, hit the low
Sign a life insurance policy then imma go ghost
Blow my top off, post a song to be a legend
Pay my brother and sister college, then sleep second
The life of an artist it's a permanent struggle
For a week you feel like you're about to make it, the next it ain't the same
You see there's so many others that's posing for the game
They wanna look fly, rap hard and be the same
You wanna tell the story of your life create change
Take my headphones off, wanna speak for what I am
Confession my addiction, what I turn I am the worst
What do you imagine, what could I reverse
Waste myself to habits, I call this Beauty Curse
Fuck holding back I'm falling til' I'm thrown
Drunk for 3 weeks, high for 10 days
Fucked up while I write this, I just need a chance
Waiting on my moment if I die today I fucking tried at least I own it
If I die today I felt alive while I wrote this
11 years old when I started growing distant
What it felt like, I wish I were never living
All your family losing blood like them cell counts dipping
Losing your love for everyone like god isn't living
I just wanna feel alive and live while I'm still living
More than when I'm huffing Adderall or talking shit and sipping
Why you bitching
I've played a lot of I don't play no games, ho
You'll learn a lot of ho's turn out to be your family
I sit here while I write this and feel like I finally have made amends with myself
Sipping blue ribbon and it's 8 in the morning
Story of my life, keep the mission don't abort it
Beauty is the struggle, success is happiness
I used to worship Cole but now the world is for the kids
Young T Lil bitch
Take my headphones off, wanna speak for what I am
Confession my addiction, what I turn I am the worst
What do you imagine, what could I reverse
Waste myself to habits, I call this Beauty Curse