Tiffany Haddish - Not Evil Lyrics

Oh no, are we in a musical?
Uh, hope not

Hello, friends, my name is Queen Watevra Wa'Nabi
Don't worry, I'm totally not one of those evil queens
You've read about in fairy tales or seen in the movies
And there's no reason at all to be suspicious of me

(Not evil, not evil, no, the least evil person I know)
I won't lie (not evil, not evil, no, the least evil person I know)
It's actually very suspicious that you're leading with this

I'm so not a villain, I have zero evil plans
No ulterior motive, just wanna help where I can
I wanna shower you with gifts
'Cause I'm selfless and sweet
So there's no reason at all to be suspicious of

Queen Watevra Wa'Nabi
The least evil queen in history
And if you do not believe me
I totally won't imprison your family
'Cause that'd be evil and that's so not me

(Not evil, not evil, no, the least evil person I know)
Really? 'Cause I'm getting super evil vibes here (not evil, not evil, no, the least evil person I know)

Benny, do you like spaceships?
'Cause I think they are great
How'd you know that?
Loving spaceships is my one defining trait!
Well, now, my good friend
You can build the spaceship of your dreams
On your very own planet with
Your own spaceship-building scene

Come on, do not fall for this
Wildstyle!
Haven't you heard?
There's no reason at all to be suspicious of her
(Not evil, not evil, no, she's the least evil person I know)
Yeah, I know she keeps saying that, but she's clearly an evil queen
Yar, well, I'm not buyin' it

MetalBeard, a pirate without a ship, that's so cruel
It's like a spider without a web
Or a queen without a fool
Even her metaphors are suspicious
I've got a surprise for you
A planet that's really a pirate ship
And the population, your crew

Her story checks out, she's cool, not evil
What about me?
Unikitty, what's the most glitter you can imagine?
A lot
Times that by infinity
And, Batman
Don't even try it, lady, I don't need anything
Oh, I know, that's why
I'm going to give you half of everything
Uh, like everything, everything?
Everything, everything
She's rad, this chick gets me

Here's some other adjectives
People use to describe me
Unduplicitous, unmalicious
Unconniving, unnasty
You're clearly just adding "un" to words that describe you
Who? Me?

I'm Queen Watevra Wa'Nabi
I never trick people into trusting me
By hiding my true personalities
So I can use them to accomplish my evil deeds
'Cause that'd be evil and that's so not me

I never cheat, I never bribe
I never scheme, I never lie
And that wasn't a lie when
I said just now that I never lie
'Cause I never lie and I never
Laugh when children cry
And I never poison enemies of mine
And I never cry when I'm alone at night
'Cause as I said, I love my life
I'm gettin' off track
Let me get back to the point I was makin'

I'm Queen Watevra Wa'Nabi
The most least evil person you'll ever meet
And if you make eye contact with me
I totally won't have you executed immediately
'Cause that'd be evil (evil)
Evil (evil), evil, and that's so not me