The Stranglers - School Mam Lyrics

A fine day for the classroom and the pupils are here
Julie's got a headache but the others don't care
Sarah's got to stay behind and help with the drill
Teacher's got his eye on her
Moves in for the kill.
Nobody can see or hear the things that they do
All the books stay closed, there must be something they do
Only teacher knows about the subjects they span - span
Education's secondary, being a school mam

Oooooeeee!
Teachers doing fine as far as I can see

Being a school mam
Long holidays in the summer
Being a school mam
Free milk in your coffee break
Being a school mam
Government paid monthly salary checks

Noises heard the principal investigates
She turns on all the cameras but it's too late
Catches both their pants down in a passion war
Hasn't seen it happen since the day she was born
Reaching down for glasses that just can't be found
By the time she finds them, why their down on the ground
Tossing and a turning they've got feverish hands
Lead can be so fluid when you're being a school mam

Oooooeeee!
Teachers doing fine as far as I can see

Being a school mam
Controlling promiscuity after hours
Being a school mam
Giving out detentions by the dozen
Being a school mam
Give her fifty lines (of speed)
Being a school mam

Sucking on her fingernails she can't believe what she's seeing
She's seeing something close to what appears on the screen
Locks her door, with trembling hands and her hearts beating very fast
She pretends she's down there on the floor in the class
Gives herself to teacher although he doesn't know
Works herself into a frenzied state and it shows
Sarah's almost at the top but try as she can
She can't reach her helter skelter
Down with the school man

Just watch her go and help her try if you can
Use your twentieth century imagination - if you've got any

Oooooeeee!
Now she's at the top and teacher sets her free

Being a school mam
Disgusting behavior
Being a school mam
All over the parquet flooring
Being a school mam
Letting the flood gates open wide
Being a school mam

Now the principal collapses dead on the floor
With contentment on her wrinkled old face ever more
She went out the very best way that an old woman can
She was where the action was
Down there with the school man

Oooooeeee!
Teacher never will discover who could see

Being a school mam
One and one make two if you're very lucky
Being a school mam
Two twos make four if I remember correctly
Being a school mam
Four fours make sixteen and sixteen's over age
Sixteen and sixteen makes thirty two
That's approaching middle age
Thirty two and thirty two makes sixty four
That's OAP land
Sixty four and sixty four makes a hundred and twenty eight
A hundred and twenty eight divided by three
Let me pause for reflection for a second
But teacher!
Three doesn't go into a hundred and twenty eight exactly,
But it goes forty two and a bit
Forty three, forty four, forty five, forty six, forty seven
Forty eight, forty nine,
Forty nine, point one, forty nine, point two, forty nine, point three
Forty nine, point four,
Forty nine, point five, forty nine, point six, forty nine, point seven
Forty nine, point eight,
Forty nine, point nine,
Forty nine, point nine,
Forty nine, point nine,
Forty nine, point nine,
Forty nine, point nine,
Forty nine, point nine,
Forty nine, point nine,
Forty nine, point nine,
Forty nine, point nine,
Fifty!