The Dead Milkmen - If I Had a Gun Lyrics

Would I be amused
Would you be impressed
That I had the power
To put a hole into your chest?
When the kids are crying
And the welfare check's been spent
Would I rob a liquor store
To get some money for the rent?

If I had a gun

Would I start smoking Marlboros?
Would I stop smoking Kents?
Would I gain some new respect?
Would I gain some confidence?
Would I suddenly go crazy
And shoot my family?
And see myself years later
On some crime show on TV

If I had a gun

Would I wear it in a holster?
Would I keep it concealed?
Would I put it on the table
Every time that I'm misdealed?
When I hear a nearby gunshot
When I'm up at night alone
Would I feel a little safer
Here in my urban home?

If I had a gun