Saint T - I'm Dying Lyrics

I gotta tell you I’ve been lying
The pressure and my mental health combined and now I’m dying
Been looking for some painkillers, too young to be buying
I’ve become so numb, I can’t physically be crying
Gotta be honest, I ain’t trying
I’m making up excuses not to wake up, rather lie in
Cuz when there’s nothing left, what is the point in fighting?
I’m hurting deep inside but on the outside, I am smiling
And I’m failing to be lucid so it’s 999 I’m dialling
If death was an option, I’d have already had taken it
But I’ve seen what it does and I don’t want people facing it
There’s laws on suicide and I have thought about breaking it
But when the shot connects, I will not be the one taking it
Don’t wanna be alive cuz the world is a dark place
Cops are killing people just because they got a dark face
Other generations loved this time, not in our case
Guess we just grew up in a hard place
Parents taught me to be tough
So I hide behind a mask cuz they cannot know I’m rough
And even when I’m giving up and I’ve just had enough
I’ll always keep it together, no one knows bout mental cuffs
But let me tell you, when I wanted to just fucking die
Way back to when I had that fight
I didn’t get no help cuz everybody was asleep at night
Didn’t wanna be alive cuz I knew I was traumatised
Dealing with that stress seemed way too much, I almost tried to fly
Imagine what had happened if I jumped
People gather at my downfall while I’m laying in a dump
And the doctors tryna save me, oxygen inside a pump
This is based on a true story, you can read it when I’m numb
If they saved me, then I’d probably need protection from a gun
Cuz if I got hold on one, either shoot myself or run
I replay that night over and over in my brain
Every night, now I’m looking for a girlfriend just to numb the pain
I got this feeling that I’m on the verge of death
If I don’t make it, tell everyone I’ll love them till the end
Now I know that even at this age, sometimes you can’t defend
So just know that if I die then I will always try descend
I got this feeling that I’m on the verge of death
Don’t know if I’m paranoid or if I’m doomed to ascend
I’ll be taken down to hell cuz I was doomed to offend
Yeah I’m certain I am dying, it’s too much to comprehend

I gotta tell you I’ve been lying
The pressure and my mental health combined and now I’m dying
Been looking for some painkillers, too young to be buying
I’ve become so numb, I can’t physically be crying
Gotta be honest, I ain’t trying
I’m making up excuses not to wake up, rather lie in
Cuz when there’s nothing left, what is the point in fighting?
I’m hurting deep inside but on the outside, I am smiling
And I’m failing to be lucid so it’s 999 I’m dialling
If death was an option, I’d have already had taken it
But I’ve seen what it does and I don’t want people facing it
There’s laws on suicide and I have thought about breaking it
But when the shot connects, I will not be the one taking it
Don’t wanna be alive cuz the world is a dark place
Cops are killing people just because they got a dark face
Other generations loved this time, not in our case
Guess we just grew up in a hard place
Parents taught me to be tough
So I hide behind a mask cuz they cannot know I’m rough
And even when I’m giving up and I’ve just had enough
I’ll always keep it together, no one knows bout mental cuffs
But let me tell you, when I wanted to just fucking die
Way back to when I had that fight
I didn’t get no help cuz everybody was asleep at night
Didn’t wanna be alive cuz I knew I was traumatised
Dealing with that stress seemed way too much, I almost tried to fly
Imagine what had happened if I jumped
People gather at my downfall while I’m laying in a dump
And the doctors tryna save me, oxygen inside a pump
This is based on a true story, you can read it when I’m numb
If they saved me, then I’d probably need protection from a gun
Cuz if I got hold on one, either shoot myself or run
I replay that night over and over in my brain
Every night, now I’m looking for a girlfriend just to numb the pain
I got this feeling that I’m on the verge of death
If I don’t make it, tell everyone I’ll love them till the end
Now I know that even at this age, sometimes you can’t defend
So just know that if I die then I will always try descend
I got this feeling that I’m on the verge of death
Don’t know if I’m paranoid or if I’m doomed to ascend
I’ll be taken down to hell cuz I was doomed to offend
Yeah I’m certain I am dying, it’s too much to comprehend