Loudon Wainwright III - I Can't Stand Myself Lyrics

I sure can pick 'em
Out looking for my next victim
Who will that unlucky one be?
Oh there's lots shaking
No they're not all taken
There's someone out there
Just imperfect for me

There must be some kind of waitress
I could lure under my mattress
If I ply her with chitchat and wine
How's about a rich heiress
Or a nice massage therapist
I could use some hands-on treatment all of the time

I'm done with you, finally we're through
The whole thing was all wrong
At last I'm free, I'm back with me
But that won't be for long
I can't stand myself

Yeah I'm bar hopping
I'm out girlfriend shopping
I'm trying to find somebody to bring home
To meet my dear sweet mother
She's thinking oh no here comes another one
But she knows I just can't leave it alone

I got this sneaking suspicion
It's more than just a little like fishing
You bait up your hook
And then you throw out your line
Yeah I'm out beating the bushes
Scoping out smiles, checking out tushes
I'm out on the lookout just about all of the time

We both tried nobody died
But I feel damned near dead
I miss you but I'm really blue
Cause I'm back with me instead
I can't stand myself

I sure can pick em
I'm looking for my next victim
Who will that unlucky one be?