Lonesity - now i hear nothing... (the gift) Lyrics

I put the drugs down, the bottle
Everything in between
Still depressed though
There's no remedy for the lonely
'Cause I've been this way for so long
I could turn a new leaf but
Still find myself
Singing this song

Carry my body down to the river
Let it float away, let the water claim the pain
Blood'll wash away, my memory the same
Forget about me like a puddle in the rain

I put the drugs down, the bottle
Everything in between
Still depressed though
There's no remedy for the lonely
'Cause I've been this way for so long
I could turn a new leaf but
Still find myself
Singing this song

Sometimes I say nothing
And nothing says it all
Go for days without talking
Blocking all your calls
Lock myself away
Self-induced downfall
Climb up to the roof
Trip, slip, then I fall
At my funeral they'll say
"Oh he brought out the best in everyone he'd meet"
Which is true, but a shame
'Cause I never found someone who
Brought out the best in me

These vices took a grip on me and never let go
Left me gasping for air as I straddled my throat
You know, a hanging body is no addition to a home
Sinking further into patterns that I wish I'd never known

So if you've ever got a gift from me, please regard it as a flower
It means I was thinking 'bout you in my final hour
You made life a little better while I struggled on my own
I'm so sorry I could never find the strength to call your phone
If I don't make it out, just know I tried my best
Take that gift I gave, hold it closer to your chest
Even though my existence is a fragment of the past
I hope you know I'm always with you in a way that'll last

Although I may be dead and gone
Don't forget the things I said
Yeah, every word
Every song I sang
Helped me live a little longer
But I always lose my way
Sorry I could not become the
Person that I should've been