Julien Baker - Song in E Lyrics

I wish that I drank because of you
And not only because of me
Then I could blame something painful enough
Not to make me look any more weak

When you heard my name
You could be angry and have a good reason to be
Then when I say a horrible drunken parade of my worst thoughts
I'd say "Give me no sympathy"
It's the mercy I can't take

I wish you'd come over
Not to stay, just tell me that I was your biggest mistake to my face
And then leave me alone in an empty apartment
Face down in the carpet
I wish you'd hurt me
It's the mercy I can't take