Julien Baker - Shadowboxing Lyrics

Born cutting teeth on the curb
Summoning ghosts up from the concrete
Keep me company while I learn
Shadowboxing with giants
Grew from our feet

I know that you don't understand
'Cause you don't believe what you don't see
When you watch me throwing punches at the devil
It just looks like I'm fighting with me

But there's a comfort in failure
Singing too loud in church
Screaming my fears into speakers
'Till I collapse or I burst
Whichever comes first

I know you were trying to help
But you're only making it worse
Tell me that I shouldn't blame myself
But you can't even imagine how badly it hurts
Just to think sometimes
How I think almost all the time

So break me down
Fold it over your arms
Like an unloaded shotgun
Dismantled and harmless
Even you couldn't manage to pull
The fuse from the back of my head

When you tell me you love me
Tell me you loved me
I wanted so bad to believe it
So tell me you love me
Tell me you loved me
I wanted so bad
I wanted so bad to believe you