Julien Baker - Relative Fiction Lyrics

Midnight, you could see me dangling
Glow like a cherry falling
Now it's a downpour
You could see me racing the rain to the ground floor
You're the only thing I'll wait around for
Maybe when you get off of work could you meet me
We could go barreling down on the main street
You could try watching while I run through the high-beams

'Cause if I didn't have a mean bone in my body
I'd find some other way to cause you pain
I won't bother telling you I'm sorry
For something that I'm gonna do again

When I could spend the weekend out on a bender
Do I get callous or do I stay tender
Which of these is worse
And which is better?
Dying to myself virtually, a massacre
A character of somebody's invention
A martyr in another passion play
I guess I don't mind losing my conviction
If it's all relative fiction anyway

'Cause I don't need a savior
I need you to take me home
I don't need your help
I need you to leave me alone
I'm out with the drunks at the bar
Talk over the band
I try to express
I can't understand
I beat at the keys
I bloody my hands
'Til you hear me
I've got no business praying
I'm finished being good
Now I can finally be okay
And not the way I thought I should, mm