Joe Budden ft. Royce da 5′9″, Kobe - All In My Head Lyrics

Maybe it started with Slaughterhouse, or was it tour life?
Maybe it wouldn't had started at all if I had your life
Maybe it was needed or was I thinking immorally
If I wasn't myself could I say I gave the fans All of Me?
Can't decide if I'm more ashamed of what they saw of me
Than I am of ignoring all the lessons that was taught to me
Headed up field but couldn't dodge the last tackler
How could a forward thinker move so ass backwards?
How could a dude with no regrets at all, willing to bet it all
Not realize that quicker demise, how could I neglect it all?
I'm so seasonal, some of y'all knew I'd spring back
With a heart this cold, how'd y'all think I'd be receptive to fall
I'm plenty comfortable when danger's around
And even more so when strangers around
And the bigger picture is sicker, don't know my triggers or know the alarm it forces
Don't know a nigga, don't know my bouts with drugs and liquor or the harm it causes
Life or death? I tried to lynch myself
Thought I could keep it all a secret, I convinced myself
But really, the folk that loved me, they could tell I was locin'
I couldn't see him, cry me a river cause it fell in the ocean
Numb to my words now, maybe felt I was open
I cut so many people loose, do I need help with devotion?
That's just some of the things I ask my Lord and Savior
And when He calls for me, will He have done us all a favor?

How did I make it here?
Who are y'all?
I feel so lost
Now I'm not seeing it clear
Is it my fault?
It's all in my head

I'm looking around like this can't be happening
Round of applause for the angry rappers
Lord, my girl cried me a flood than me a river
That's love, depending on me when I'm a dependent on liquor
I'm up in the shoe store, she got no love to show
You ever look at a bitch you was fucking behind your bitch back
Like fuck I was fucking you for?
I'm a artist so I'm intelligent
I would tell you to do some soul searching
But it's hanging up in my closet with your skeleton
It's gotta be a God's work, even a diamond gotta be polished first
A quarter's on the loose and I ain't been out here getting my dollars' worth
I had to remove the goggles first
To see through the sipping Patron and fifty phoners for I need to go get me a kidney donor
Guru, Nate Dogg, go ahead blink a eye
The doctor told me you close, go 'head drink and die
Buried under the stone where the Patron fifth sits by
That reads "Here lies somebody who never wanted to be this guy"

How did I make it here?
Who are y'all?
I feel so lost
Now I'm not seeing it clear
Is it my fault? (It go)
It's all in my head (look)

They say knowledge is power, great 'cause every day I learn
As of late been having revelations bout this hate term
Hate the way they judged me, till I got the case adjourned
Hated the belly of the beast till I became its tapeworm
When I said I'd stop getting high, tried to say it stern
Though I'm the type to walk through the fire to check the way it burn
They say my brain is off, I say how can it be?
If I'm out my mind, how can I be in-sanity?
And people used to say that I was scared of progress
They don't know how hard a nigga tried to advance
But I don't know who's more to blame, is it them for really not knowing me
Or is it me for never really giving them a chance?
Get too close, be too big of a threat
Now I spend little to no time, thinking why I ain't get rid of you yet
Gotta recognize my maturity, gotta see I'm grown
Let all my skeletons out the closet, just so I'd never be alone
Since I got trust issues I won't discuss with you
Besides God tell me who the fuck's supposed to save you
Pop won't have a man to man, was gone half my life so
Somewhere in his head probably feel it ain't his place to
Plus more people will see me soon, I mean I'll be on national TV soon
So when I ask if people I have around are a cancer for me
That's four million more that might be able to answer for me, Joey

How did I make it here?
Who are y'all?
I feel so lost
Now I'm not seeing it clear
Is it my fault?
It's all in my head