Dear Reader - Nothing Melodious Lyrics

I am the keys of the piano beat with his fingers
The drink he pours
The dog that he strokes
And the music I bleat is distinctly animal
Nothing melodious happens at all
Nothing melodious happens at all

Oh, no
I'm as blunt as a wooden sword
When he comes to call
He folds himself in half like an ironing board
Are we broken?
Are we both in need of help?
Now the words are spoken
There's a sign in my ears like the chime
Of a warning

What have you done?
You've gone and lain in the sun
Now your halo is glowing like a radioactive turban
Get to a doctor
He will fix you up proper
The ideas that you're sprouting
Are not things to be spouting at the likes of us
You're making a fuss

I am the keys of a piano beat with his fingers
The shirt he folds, the fire he stokes
And the music I bleat is distinctly animal
Nothing melodious happens at all
Nothing melodious happens at all

Oh, no
I'm as blunt as a wooden sword
When he comes to call
He folds himself in half like an ironing board
Are we broken?
Are we both in need of help?
Now the words are spoken
There's a sign in my ears like the chant of a warning

What have you done?
You've gone and lain in the sun
Now your halo is glowing like a radioactive turban
Get to a doctor
He will fix you up proper
The ideas that you're spouting
Are not fit to be spouting at the likes of us

Oh, no
I'm as blunt as a wooden sword
When he comes to call
He folds himself in half like an ironing board
Are we broken?
Are we both in need of help?
When he comes to call
Nothing melodious happens at all