ANSON - Bittersweet Lyrics

I've been searching for a long time,
Just to find out if I mean right,
Am I okay?
Am I honest?
Was I lying to myself?
I remember way back when

I was trying so hard,
Stole my father's car,
Trying to get away,
How did I make it that far?
Grabbed a bottle of Jack and got lost in a fantasy I made for me,
But I'm still stuck right here,
I don't know if I made it clear,

That I crashed into a wasteland,
Dived down deeper than I should have,
When I'm falling down strung out and faded,
Back before the drugs and the medication,
Things were looking up, how did I get here?
Locked up in my room, too tired to be scared,
Trying not to call on my temptations, but just like her lipstick I still taste it
A bitter so sweet,

I've been waking to the sunrise,
Asking questions that I can't find,
Am i so close to the answers, i don't believe them cause I'm blind,
I can't see at all,

I've been giving it up,
Living life on luck,
Stuck in the middle of my fake friends who don't give a fuck,
Long nights we spend in L.A.
All the noises wash over me,
It's all make believe,
But I'm still stuck right here,
I don't know if I made it clear

And I don't want to be a bother, but you know it's criminal how lost we all can be,
Is it typical to turn our backs on ourselves, with our hearts turned out on our sleeves,
And I don't want to live this way, I don't want to live ashamed,
I don't want to live this