Allan Sherman - In Which I Finally Admit That I Won World War II Single-Handed Lyrics

I was in World War II.
(Hooray!)
I don't know what...thank you very much. I was not gonna take credit for the entire victory, folks, but...certainly now that you've recognized the part that I played, I can hardly lie about it. I was in Camp Walters, Texas, for the entire period. Only five miles from a town called Mineral Wells, which I wish not to describe at this...
(Yeah!)
WAIT A MINUTE "YEAH!" FOR MINERAL WELLS "YEAH"? Are you from Mineral Wells, sir?
(No...)
Okay...Anyway, I was readin' about these kids that didn't wanna get drafted, and I thought it would be a good idea if somebody wrote a song for them to listen to, and I wrote the following song, which goes like this. Advice to teenage boys who are about to get drafted.