AJY - So Lost. Lyrics

Growing older what the hell do I do
18 now bout to finish senior year and finally graduate soon
Not even 20 yet and might have been having a midlife crisis
The fuck do I do with my life with all these damn prices
Decisions, my music, my living, my passions
Clouding up my vision making my emotions my limits
Keep this up and your music and your life ain't going nowhere
Creating barriers, songs delete over and over
Again with this bullshit AJY you're such a coward
Why you even letting your mind, tears control ya
I understand it's deeper than just money
You wanna take care of yourself, parents, and your future family
Ain't no doubt that I can tell that you care I mean you are me
You wanna make these songs but the public is so scary
Yo voice ain't that special you want it to sound manly
You wanna make it you anxious for people to be comparing right
Feeling so lost, drowning in my own life
Only thing to think of right now is to write
Feeling so lost, drowning in my own life
Lonely feelings reeling in my mind that always lies
I got the motivation
Can't fulfill my aspirations with dedication
Thoughts making dreams fiction
So why am I chasing dead ends
Because I'm yearning
Low probability but I'm willing
To put in the time working
I say that now
But what if I fail will all that be for nothing
I still shouldn't care though
Better than busting tables all night to get low pay so
I can't complain
I'm privileged
That is prolly why I feel like I got bigger shoes to fill in
Parents worked so hard to get where we are at man what am I doing
I'm tired of school and life cause all I call myself is stupid
Can't understand a god damn thing are people judging
Cutting loose ends off am I appreciated yet
Is my perception right and wrong is something broken with my head
Should I just quit my dreams, step in reality instead
Go to college after this and have a lifelong plan
Never had these insecurities way back when I began damn
Feeling so lost, drowning in my own life
Only thing to think of right now is to write
Feeling so lost, drowning in my own life
Lonely feelings reeling in my mind that always lies
Ohhhh I wanna be happy
Not tonight
Oh I need to be
I want to be
Why can't I be there
I know I will
But still am stuck
By my mind

Growing older what the hell do I do
18 now bout to finish senior year and finally graduate soon
Not even 20 yet and might have been having a midlife crisis
The fuck do I do with my life with all these damn prices
Decisions, my music, my living, my passions
Clouding up my vision making my emotions my limits
Keep this up and your music and your life ain't going nowhere
Creating barriers, songs delete over and over
Again with this bullshit AJY you're such a coward
Why you even letting your mind, tears control ya
I understand it's deeper than just money
You wanna take care of yourself, parents, and your future family
Ain't no doubt that I can tell that you care I mean you are me
You wanna make these songs but the public is so scary
Yo voice ain't that special you want it to sound manly
You wanna make it you anxious for people to be comparing right
Feeling so lost, drowning in my own life
Only thing to think of right now is to write
Feeling so lost, drowning in my own life
Lonely feelings reeling in my mind that always lies
I got the motivation
Can't fulfill my aspirations with dedication
Thoughts making dreams fiction
So why am I chasing dead ends
Because I'm yearning
Low probability but I'm willing
To put in the time working
I say that now
But what if I fail will all that be for nothing
I still shouldn't care though
Better than busting tables all night to get low pay so
I can't complain
I'm privileged
That is prolly why I feel like I got bigger shoes to fill in
Parents worked so hard to get where we are at man what am I doing
I'm tired of school and life cause all I call myself is stupid
Can't understand a god damn thing are people judging
Cutting loose ends off am I appreciated yet
Is my perception right and wrong is something broken with my head
Should I just quit my dreams, step in reality instead
Go to college after this and have a lifelong plan
Never had these insecurities way back when I began damn
Feeling so lost, drowning in my own life
Only thing to think of right now is to write
Feeling so lost, drowning in my own life
Lonely feelings reeling in my mind that always lies
Ohhhh I wanna be happy
Not tonight
Oh I need to be
I want to be
Why can't I be there
I know I will
But still am stuck
By my mind